Thank Goodness!!!!

i am glad AT LEAST!!!
i am soo glad JUSSST FOR ONCE!

cos i noe tat i ALR DID MY BEST IN 1 out of 5 modules!
i got two B for SCIENCE last week and tis week
and for the rest, i scored them quite badly.
but it was ok cos it was only the first 2 weeks.

and i will try hard to get A.

another thing is i need time to adapt the alien surrounding.

perhap it took me half a year to a year to adapt it.

i do hear many times frm my parents who still encourage me to carry on!

haiz!

i noe i keep thinking a lot of negative thing

of wanna give up my poly cos of dymatically changes and other problems...

and babbling too many of my negative thoughts

to dr. keng and his wife and too my parents abt my problems almost everyday.

i am very sorry!

for two week, i cried everytime i came home...

cos i cant show in front of my classmates.

so everyday, i talk to my parents abt it

but in the end, i hid under blanket,

crying till 1 to 2 am and then dozed off...

-.-

cos i was under very HEAVY PRESSURE

like i always... think of EVERYDAY...

wat will others see me as,

what will happen to me if my results r bad,

why do i end up like this,

will my speech affect my results

and so on.

so every lesson, i was very tired.

DUN think life in secondary sch is the SAME as life in poly!

jiayi does feel the same as me.

i noe they did want to help me to cope wif my poly so as they want to see me and too others especially priscilla and janice (i am not refer to janice lim) to GRADUATE WIF GOOD RESULTS!

same for younger generation.

also i am not only one who suffer.

rafiqah and priscilla had experienced tat

and they both shared wif me how they managed their problems.

i cant be sooo down for the last one whole week and tis week!
i am thankful and too grateful for those who had come to support and help me!!!
*sob*
and too thank GOD for guide me ALL along

and i WOULD TRY NOT TO FEEL THAT I AM ALONE IN ALIEN ENVIRONMENT, alrite!

janice also feel the same way as i am when come to poly.

thanks to those who i needed help and those who visited me yesterday:

priscilla
dr. keng and his beloved wife
anthony
weiting
lynette
ginny and her bf
joe eng

and too i recieved good encouragement frm rafiqah, steven and dr. liew, the Head of SIT (programme chair)!
*touched!*

everyone is praying for me and i also pray for OTHERS!

especially jiayi, priscilla and joe eng.

i feel a BIT, BIT better, not only feel better as time passes by.

who noes that there is another problem awaiting for me and i haf to deal wif it asap.

jiayou!

***i need to rest early and study early***

for the past week

20 to 25 APRIL

i was damn so stress and too so depressed!

yesterday,

i talked wif councillor abt my inner problems

that all my facilitators and my classmates dun noe.

it happened when one of my facilitators suspected of me and asked me to go council centre.

-.-

rafiqah was wif me all along and comforted me.

thank u!

when i came home, i too talked to my parents abt them and too another problem for HOURS.

i cried for HOURS TOO!

=.=

i felt sooo pain liao!

i HATE myself for being who i am.

it is too difficult and i feel like that "poison" is within me FOR LIFE!

i noe i think sth so negative too much.

sometimes, i felt like RUN AWAY frm the problems

and dun wanna accept them.

*sounds like coward...

haiz!

NOT because of being bully or taunt or watever.

i mean those things around me tat give me a very different feeling.

BUT NOT because i am helpless and depend on others!

my mind had gone nuts recently!

no appetite to eat for one whole week...

thinking of run away and thinking of fighting and solving my problems...

many problems keep coming out and i had to solve them one by one...

i am tired of them!

TIRED OF THEM!

especially, during last one week
every time when it was my turn to do presentation, i kept praying to GOD to give me the strength.

some of my results like GRADES went ups and downs.

and also the surroundings changed dramatically!

and TOO ppl around me like...hmm...

i feel they r way BETTER than me.

ah, i cant say out too many of my problems.

i find them sooo annoy!!!

SO ANNOY!

i say them out to cool myself down.

there are my many problems that are beyond of wat you have seen those COMMON problems.

thank u, dr keng and his wife for today!!!!

;)



i am really thankful for their present!!!
xD


they ALL celebrated my bday and too ginny's bf at mhi after church and SF.
lols!

super crowded!!!
squeezed into one room!
two cakes- one for me and another for ginny's bf.
haha!

i cut that cake but it turned out ugly with crooked shapes...
=.=

i am not gd at cutting...

=x

thank u my RP friend, ex-friends and too close friends:

yew kim
yanyu
joe eng
xue hui
joyce
priscilla

lynette

vanessa

pauline

and so on!

:)

alrite, thank u for TODAY!!!

HEY GUYS who played wif me!

GOOD FUN TODAY?

haha!

we played like crazy after eating bday cakes.

lols!

i lost to joe eng, anthony and lynette in arm wrestler

:(

but it was very FUN!

and there i played one of tricks to win over them in arm wrestler.

ah, i finally won except anthony!

it is no fair cos he is boy

and too joe eng was the one who told him to challenge me...

-.-

vanessa is still funny as usual!

she shared a lot of cool and funny jokes wif us!

totally hilarious!

and!

before going to SF...

she made me laugh liao

she acted by throwing the bomb to us on the life and saying, "BOOM"!

lols!

then went home wif yew kim.

ah, she hit the nail on my head!!!!

my secret had revealed!!!!

argh!

she is super smart liao!

YEW KIM!!!!

KEEP THOSE MY SECRET IN UR BRAIN, U HEAR!!!!

(not in ur mouth or elsa it might be exposed! and too dun tell even a single person!)

OH PLSSSSS,yew kim!!!

x(

PICTURES FRM YESTERDAY!!!!

xD

my team no.8!

wif two leaders taking care of us.

2 leaders- a guy beside me on the first row and another TALLEST guy beside malay girl who wore black surf.

CHEERS

Information and Communication Technology!!!

:)

Ah!

it feels MUCH BETTER today!!!

xD

but i cant overlook how good and how fast i can accept the new friends and too the life in RP.

hmm!

yesterday, i got pissing off,

not really totally freakin' out ok.

cos of another male leader of my team 8 who had taken care of us there during OP frm 15 to 17 apr.

he is not that guy frm CYPHER CAMP who gave me an egg.

lols!

he kept asking me so many qns...

+.=

i was really quite tired to ans.

cos many ppl especially friends, whom i meet, ask me that same and common qns.

that's why.

like where i came frm, why i never learn chinese and so on!

he is frm the same country as mine!

we introduced to each other, yea.

and some more

when i was "busy" to sms to victor phua, rachel, rafiqah and other my new normal friends abt sth on...

victor- we sms abt LEO problem and UT (yesterday & today)

rachel- we sms abt common things (today)

rafiqah- we sms abt common things (yesterday)

new friends- they ask me wat to wear tmr and other things (yesterday & today)

he looked at me waiting for me to finish my business in sms to my friends...

u noe, if i haf done my business, u can talk to me, rite?

after i did sms, he stared at me, wanna saying sth to me

but in the end, the words struck in his throat

and he cant say sth that he wanted to say to me...

=.=

all he had said to me," hmm...well... u... ahem, never mind."

i was =.='''

my friends stared at him, waiting (listening) for him to say out.

lols!

he was like that to me many time yesterday and too today.

haiz...

and he liked to peek at wat i wrote (sms) to my friends...

man, quite busybody

lols!

haha!

never mind!

anyway,

I AM GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR GUIDING ME ALL ALONG!!!!

i love GOD!!!

<3

i haf built my encouragement to talk wif new normal friends.

PHEW!

thank god for the STRENGTH!!!

:)

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

oh!

today, i came to sch at 8.30am wif victor.

lols!

so early liao...

i prefer 9am!!!

x(

and here is my class- w15a

i mixed wif other friends again.

we played a game- 2 truths and 1 false.

i said 3 sentence after intro my name.

bwahaha!!!

they guessed wrong!

lols.

i said:

1) i like to sleep

2) i like to read comics

3) and i am frm TAIWAN!

they thought that "i like to sleep" is a false.

actually, i am not frm Taiwan, rite?

yea!

;)

today after my lunch at cafe, i was glad to see priscilla there!!!

she seemed she needed to tell me sth important

but i was busy and i had to go wif my team to another place for another activities...

so sorry...

ah, that guy's friend told me how i know priscilla.

cos she is frm the same church as mine.

lols!

hmm...

and not again that guy asked me where is my church and so on...

ah, i am fine wif it

cos i get used to it on that time

when rachel kept asking me SOOO MANY QNS for quite long time (to be many years)!!!

:x

haha!

today, OP ended 9pm.

and i just reached home.

gtg sleep soon!

zzzZZZ

very tired

and my skin got sunburn AGAIN!!!

:(

and c'mon, zm!

every good day will be awaiting for me!

and too next mon on the first day of sch!

jiayou!

UNEXPECTED DAY today!!!!!!

OMG!

tis morning, i went to rp main gate to meet other IT ppl for RP Orientation Programme.

so that time...

i was surprised

when a guy gave me a big chocolate egg.

and there he said to me softly, "happy bday!"

he was like walking so quiet and approached me...

i saw his eyes looking around to make sure no one notice him giving it to me.

-.-'''

i was like "!!!!!!"

and thought to myself, "how come he knows that today is my bday???? i never told anyone in RP and also never tell anyone who was in the same course as me!"

only my HI friends and too SAC friends KNOW!

but anyway, i am glad!

lols!

i noe i talked too much and "sh*w *ff".

i just feel like to say it out lar.

haha!

that guy was the leader of group 7 which i was in.

lols!

he was the one

who was in charge of looking after and taking care of my team during my CYPHER CAMP on 13 to 14 apr.

in fact,

i admire him cos he is good and nice person.

***not i love him, ok!!!!***

but i dun like his habit- smoking...

ya...i cant misjudge him for being bad person just cos he is smoking.

lols

well, today was not bad

but i needed to get used to it and too the surrounding...

and need time to make new friends.

FIGHTING!!!

especially for those who go poly- jiayi, beile and my friends, hmm!

13 to 14 apr CAMP

not bad and it was fun!

xD

BUT very tired liao!

play indoor activities till 2am on 13 apr

and then got up at 6am on 14 apr

and then play outdoor activities...

i felt soooo tired especially the floor and air-con!

so HARD and so COLD!!!!

i really cant sleep for the whole night.

and my face and body were VERY PAINFUL frm sunburn!

hmm, alr!

gtg sleep early tonight.

very tired rite now...

AND!!!!

THANK U, GUYS!!!!

love u guys for sms saying happy bday to me!!!

xD

my dear SAC friends and HI friends and too my FAMILY!

hmm!

yay!

i was glad to give bday gifts to my friends- hau en, beile and lakkshna yesterday!

i hope they like them VERY MUCH!

i completed those 3 cards for the last 3 days!

each card took me a long time to think of nice pose and too nice clothes!

i redid them many times liao!

my hands were tired!

ugly drawings so i threw away and got another new cards...

and again no good pose...

so i drew again till the pictures were PERFECT!

lols!

poor my hands!

:(

ah yeah!

i was late for the church...

i came to pray and sing for only 30 mins...

=.+

cos i woke up 8.30am.

it was the exactly same time as the church started.

last night, i slept late liao and too came home late.

i thought the church started at 9.30am

but joyce said that it started 8.30am....

i was like...

no one told me abt the change of time.

but never mind!

i got SF.

very few ppl make the eggs for easter's day.

ah, joe eng and yew kim did their job well!

they explained abt wat the egg represent.

hmm!

yesterday's competition was not bad.

my team won silver as usual.

and i had noticed TWL's team doing well.

ah yes, u saw why i stayed in toilet for so long before setting off for the competition.

actually, i cried.

i got another problem but i really cant tell anyone.

luckily, i quickly turned my face away, avoiding ppl see my face.

but beile almost caught me by seeing my red eyes.

she thought i cried for the sake of gold...

-.-'''

she was wrong, man.

after competition, it rained DAMN heavy!

WTH!

half of my clothes and bag were wet all cos of STEVEN!

i carried my OWN umbrella wif too many stuffs!

like patrick's cap, ivy's camera, my bag of slipper, my lunch box, towel and so on!!!!!

my hands were full wif those stuffs...

then steven joined to shared my umbrella wif me.

super crowded especially my fat stuffs!

stup*d steven blamed me, saying i caused him wet all over the body.

who cares lols and the umbrella is mine!

:x

and finally reach mhi.

took shower and then prize-giving.

after that, we went out to haf dinner.

we haf KFC.

i was sick of fried food and too fast food.

so i just bought a drink.

beile and i talked a lot abt GOOD memories

and too good and bad times when we were in sec 4.5!

:)))

haha!

then, we went arcade.

SUPER FUN!!!!

XD

BWAHAHAHAHA!

*evil laugh*

i won over beile in video game

and too i won over ivy through car race.

but i lost to jun chong in car race.

-.-

but i was the 1st at most of times in the video games!!!!!

*smirk!*

i won over steven in another 3D video game!

:p

but i lost to patrick!

:(

rotten luck!

anyway, i really find it very fun to play wif rachel, jun chong, ernest, ivy, steven and so on through video games, hmm!

and one thing that really made me tired by using up too much of my energy!!!!

when playing GUILTY GEAR video game...

i won over boys many times like more than 12 times!

haha!

first, i played and then new challenger was ernest.

he failed to beat me 5 times in a row

and then steven failing again in 3 times

and then again jun chong failing in 4 times...

-.-

my hands were super tired!!!!

they were like SOOOOO AGGRESSIVE and really WANNA WIN over me BADLY...

lols!

and rachel said that she saw jun chong slam on the buttons so hard like

as if they were going to spoil.

wahaha!

then in the end, i lost to rachel...

wa, she was strong and good at video games, even better than me!

i was like... shocked!

but nvm...

it was only a game.

ah, gonna go home asap as i wanna see my dad off to oversea.

and too wanna say to him to haf a safe trip.

hmm, i miss him sooo much right now!

when i rushed to reach home at 10.25pm,

i looked at that time...

i was quite sad and too worried

as i thought that my dad alr left at early 10pm.

but i found out that he was still at home waiting for me to come home before he left.

i was like... control myself, dun wanna cry in front of him.

i am worried abt him every time he goes overseas

cos he is my dad

and too i always pray that he is very safe instead of meeting terrible accident or disasters.

that's why!

now, i feel my relationship wif my family had gone better

than before i become christian.

becoming christian

and learning many things frm bible have changed my life

cos bible can help me to understand

and too how to deal wif the many obstacles.

thanks to God for helping me to build strong bond wif my family as time passes by.

it is how He guides me all along slowly as well as others,

never leaving me and others alone.

in fact,

we r hard to pressed on every side, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not in despair;

persecuted, but not abandoned;

struck down, but not destroyed.

rmb, it is only temporary test that God had given u.

if that circumstance is beyond ur strength, God will help u.

if u CAN overcome many difficulties, i believe that God PROMISES to reward u!

PRAISE THE LORD!

:))))

after seeing my dad off, i took shower again!

haha!

then having a talk wif my mum abt CONDO.

we will be moving to new home soon.

ah, my mum just told me a joke

that i must find RICH boyfriend who lives in CONDO in just 1 storey above mine.

i told her that i wanna RICH+GOOD CHARACTER bf!

heh~

cos the home on the top of floor (5th floor) is very expensive (abt more than 2.5~3 m*ll*on dollars liao!)

and the rooms are very BIG, 3 times bigger than my current home.

lols!

sure "richest(richer than my family)" family can buy that one, rite?

i saw the long-winded room details as well as the picture and map of the room.

*that condo is still building NOW, have not completed yet.*

oh ya, we will live in the room that is half of the size of that room on the top floor

and even cost half of the price of that room on the top floor...

i was like...

i dun wanna move!

:(

but my mum insist it...

so i just let her do wat she wanted, hmm!

haiz!

haha!

after talking abt condo...

my mum talked wif me abt how to get good bf!

we talked till 12am.

my bro cant sleep cos he listened to EVERYTHING we talked abt.

busybody bro!

;p

jk!

see i am LOOKING @ E SKY!

love e SKY!!!

*wanna FLY TO THE SKY*

(:

haha!

ah!

GOOD FRIDAY!!!!

praise to LORD!

i haf learnt much more frm erni abt the Christ at church.

hmm!

*nod*

anyway...

i really wanna WIN GOLD BADLY for captain ball competition tomorrow.

cos all those years,

i never win single "valuable" prize especially GOLD trophy...

i noe i got silver twice for captain ball competition last yr and the yr before

but i wasn't happy wif it.

and i just got commonly 1st prizes like gifts for sport competitions....

i really dun wanna...

but for games or other simple activities,

i am ok wif the gifts

*"wide" competitions like ARTS and sports are my greatest opportunities

that i must get good trophies*

man, i am jealous of ivy and jia yi

cos they got many good and valuable trophies frm swimming competitions for six years.

and they got many GOLD!

:(((((

i haf many great opportunities

but i fail to get into 1st place no matter how hard i haf tried.

i noe i sound selfish and greedy

but u see...

all my primary years, i never had gone to swim as i went to CCPS

that's why i never got many good and valuable trophies like ivy and jia yi!

i got very few frm badminton competitions and other sport competitions for the last 4 years...

only i got silver and bronze.

:(

so pls understand my intention for winning gold badly tmr, hmm!

after church...

we went to help dr keng to collect lunch for everyone.

psst!

ivy came late...

and she missed church, only came for SF.

then when it was lunch time after SF...

ivy and i fought over that sushi!!!!!

haha!

our favourite sushi is raw salmon wif mayonnaise!

thanks to ginny for giving me another THAT sushi!

x)

:)

after that we played in SMU indoor.

lols

anthony moved soooo SUPER fast, man

he totally amused everyone including me!

totally fun!

ah, it was over

and we went out to haf dinner.

we even talked a lot of jokes!

:)

and my body was ached all over...

but to be honest...

i am sick of those who had complained abt that issues...

-.-

haiz!

ppl!

good luck for this sat for captain ball COMPETITION!!!!

same for me!!!

wish me good luck as well as my TEAM!

(wanna win gold)

*smirk*

haha!

seem tis week and next week will be my BUSIEST times!!!!!

really no time to celebrate my BDAY!!!!

:(

why is my bday so UNLUCKY!!!?

it always occurs on the first day of camp and too during EXAM period for the last 4 years!

:((((((

busy month- APRIL!

-go church twice...

-competition....

-1 week RP camp...

-and my incomplete "job" for those *ppl*....

happy april fool day!!!!!

;)

i miss wearing SAC uniform

haha!

when jia yi and i was on the way to sacss, she took it to heart

when she received the msg frm ivy

that she cant join the team to play, just come to support.

lols!

her look was sooo DAMN serious+angry

and was like she said @#$%!

so i calmed her down by telling her that it was only a prank.

haha!

i cant believed wat i had seen- her serious and unhappy look...

man, before i met her at station,

i alr told her that today was april fool liao!

and too i warned her that our friends might prepare to fool us!

but she soon forgot my warning

and ended up angry at msg frm ivy.

-.-

after i told her that it was a prank,

her face lightened up soon!

and then she took revenge by replying ivy

that she was totally serious abt joining my team as a back-up...

lols!

but that kind of revenge was my idea.

and in the end, ivy fell into our trap!

lols!

xD

weiling, head of HI family

and another thing was ivy dun believe chan ying that we came to sch.

till she was damn shocked to see us at hi room!

haha!

and shit janice!

she fooled me!

:(

seem she broke her record of fooling many ppl including me

-.-

ah,

before ivy, rachel and others saw us at hi room after their lessons,

we met christine

we played UNO and talked abt other common stuffs...

shit!

i lost...

and jia yi laughed at me

:(

and then we went to receive our o level certification at late 12 noon...

after that, we went see ms heng and talk abt our polys and courses.

she is still nice and gentle as usual!

:)

bored at hi room...

haf to wait for our sac friends to come when their lessons ended....

and we ate lunch together,

talked a lot of jokes and did FLAMES

and played!!!

man, it was over...

and we went home wif rachel.

super tired!

miss my SAC friends again!!!!




:(

anyway, thank to jia yi for giving me a bday present!

:)

*but it was too early lar...*

my bday is in 14 days away from today...

but jia yi wanna give it to me now

lols

even if the gift is LIZARD earrings....

i was kind of like i felt i received the most ugly gift...

BUT at least i received as a BDAY gift frm her!

thank u, jia yi!

x)