for the past week

20 to 25 APRIL

i was damn so stress and too so depressed!

yesterday,

i talked wif councillor abt my inner problems

that all my facilitators and my classmates dun noe.

it happened when one of my facilitators suspected of me and asked me to go council centre.

-.-

rafiqah was wif me all along and comforted me.

thank u!

when i came home, i too talked to my parents abt them and too another problem for HOURS.

i cried for HOURS TOO!

=.=

i felt sooo pain liao!

i HATE myself for being who i am.

it is too difficult and i feel like that "poison" is within me FOR LIFE!

i noe i think sth so negative too much.

sometimes, i felt like RUN AWAY frm the problems

and dun wanna accept them.

*sounds like coward...

haiz!

NOT because of being bully or taunt or watever.

i mean those things around me tat give me a very different feeling.

BUT NOT because i am helpless and depend on others!

my mind had gone nuts recently!

no appetite to eat for one whole week...

thinking of run away and thinking of fighting and solving my problems...

many problems keep coming out and i had to solve them one by one...

i am tired of them!

TIRED OF THEM!

especially, during last one week
every time when it was my turn to do presentation, i kept praying to GOD to give me the strength.

some of my results like GRADES went ups and downs.

and also the surroundings changed dramatically!

and TOO ppl around me like...hmm...

i feel they r way BETTER than me.

ah, i cant say out too many of my problems.

i find them sooo annoy!!!

SO ANNOY!

i say them out to cool myself down.

there are my many problems that are beyond of wat you have seen those COMMON problems.